Since it has been almost a year since my last post, I thought it was about time that I made an update to my poor, neglected blog.  We have come a long way since I last posted, and God has been working mightily in our lives, our marriage, and our future. 

As far as updates go, there are a lot.  Let's see if I can categorize them:

1. School:  Jared and I are about to complete our junior year (next week!) and will be happily heading into our last and final year of our undergrad.  I don't think I need to explain what a relief and excitement this is. :)  Some people seem to be created for school and would live their whole life as a student if they could (my husband is one example).  I, however, am not one of them, so being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel is quite an encouragement to me.

2. Work:  Jared will be landscaping full-time this summer for a man in our church and I will be working full-time as a transcriptionist for CIU in their Distance Education Department.  These two jobs were such answers to prayer, and we are blown away by God's provision in this area.  Not only will these jobs be here for the summer, but mine will also carry over into the school year for 20 hours a week.  Jared has also gotten a job as a Theology grader for this coming school year, and he may also continue to landscape, as well.  The Lord has been extremely gracious to us in providing us with what we need when we need it.  It is a daily battle, but I am learning to trust Him in this more than I ever have before.

3. Church: We have started attending Pineview Baptist church and are working toward church membership there.  We have loved our time there so far, and are so grateful for the faithful preaching of the word and the sweetness of the people.  They are a beautiful picture of the body of Christ and we are excited to get to be a part of that.

4. Housing: We are moving into a trailer!  After our first year here in an apartment, we have decided to take advantage of the trailers owned by CIU (the Village) for our final year.  We will gain a huge amount of space, save a substantial amount of money, and enjoy a much more "home-y" home.  Plus, we can burn candles, paint the walls, and have pets!  Obviously these were the real game changers. :)  So once our lease ends at the end of July we will be packing up camp and heading down the street for the next year.

5. Future Plans: We have not finalized our plans for after graduation, but assuming that the Lord continues to open the doors, we hope to head to Louisville, KY for Jared to attend the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.  We attended a preview day last month and fell in love with the school, the campus, the city--everything!  We have not applied to the school as of yet, but we are trusting that God will continue to lead us and will open the doors necessary if this is where He wants us to be. 
Picture
Norton Hall at Southern Seminary
We are in a very exciting time of changes and opportunities, and I am so  thankful to be going through it with my best friend.  Sometimes it is scary trying to figure things out on our own, and sometimes I think about what it would be like if I hadn't gotten married and was still a single college student, but honestly, I cannot even imagine that.  I would not trade my life for the world, and I thank God for all the ways that He has taught me through all the joys, pains, excitements, and struggles.  Lately I have been thinking back to
year and a half ago when we first began talking about marriage.  At that point, we would have laughed if someone told us that at this point, we would already have been married for a year.  But God's plans are not always our plans, and God's wisdom is not always man's wisdom.  And for this truth I am very grateful. So I will continue to smile through the questions, comments, and incredulity of most when they find out our age and story, and I will continue to thank God for the incredible gift of marriage.

 
"So, how is married life?"  I am asked this question by nearly everyone I have
seen since the wedding 2 weeks ago.  While it is a perfectly legitimate question
that I have asked newly weds numerous times, I never realized how complicated
the answer could be.  I typically have responded to the question with the
expected, "Oh, it's great!" while chatting with someone outside of church or
when they come through my check-out line at Bi-Lo.  While this answer is
certainly true, I feel that it really elicits a deeper response than that.  It
is not simply great.  It most definitely is, but it's also hard. It's
complicated.  It's exhausting.  But it's what keeps me going.  

Following our honeymoon (a wonderfully magical week at Disney World), Jared and I
returned to a hectic and exhausting week of work.  This week (and next week)
Jared has been working 12+ hour days, usually leaving the house at 6:30am
and not getting home until between 8 and 9.  Our days have
been starting at 5:30am (an hour that I never thought I would ever be willingly
waking up at).  After Jared leaves, I usually spend my day doing a combination
of cleaning, laundry, cooking, and errands, until I have to go into work. 
Depending on the day, I usually get home anywhere between 4 and 10pm.  We
probably see eachother for maybe 2 hours a day usually, and those hours are
either early in the morning or at night, both of which are times when one or
both of us is feeling the need to sleep (well...it's usually me...).  

While we haven't had much time to discuss it, from the conversations we have had,
Jared and I have both gone through the same sort of mental process about this. 
On the one hand, I feel like this is not what marriage is supposed to be. 
I love my marriage, but a part of me sometimes feels like "if we can just make it
through this, then things will be like they should be."  But the thought has been
occurring the both of us--maybe this is what marriage is like. 
And looking around, I see that often times it is. 
This is most people's life.  They start early in the morning, one or both of them
heads off to work, they maybe get a little time together in the evening, and
then it is time for bed and time start all over again.  The only difference
between us and them is the fact that it is just the two of us.  Most people
living this life have kids, as well.  So it is not just the two of them--it is
an entire family living this life. 

Looking at marriage through this lens, it's no wonder that so many around us say that
marriage is of so little value, and is so destined for failure, or that the
success of a marriage is simply found in whether or not it ends in divorce.  But
thankfully for us, this is not the case.  I'll admit, things are hard.  I might
get discouraged and I might do some crying from time to time.  But no matter
what, this is worth it.  And no matter what, Jared and I are held together by
more than just ourselves.  We can already see that "a cord of three strands is
not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:12).  I think that we can both already see
that if this marriage was built only on our own human love for one another, we
would falter and fail under the pressures of life.  But thankfully, not only can
we hold onto each other, but God is holding us all the while.  And the strength
of our marriage is in a large part reflective of the strength of our
relationship with Christ.  As I become more connected with God, I can become
more connected with my husband, no matter how little time we have to spend
together.

This aspect of things is particularly hard for me.  If we go by the concept of the love languages, mine
would definitely be quality time (although to me, I feel like they are all
great, which is why I don't always put a huge amount of weight on that, although
it can certainly be a very helpful and practical tool to help better understand
eachother).  When I don't spend enough time with Jared, I can very easily start
to feel very disconnected, and it can trigger the emotional rollercoaster of
breakdowns to begin.  I know, however, that we are connected by more than just
the time we spend together and the conversations we have.  And I can even see
the blessings through the hardships in our situation.  Through being where we
are, we have the opportunity to spend our days praying for eachother--asking God
to bless the other and comfort them while we are away.  I have the opportunity
to spend as much time as I can cleaning our little apartment, and trying to
create a real home for Jared to come home to at night.  And all the while, as I
clean our apartment and as I do our laundry and as I cook, I am able to know
that I am doing it all for him.  And it gives me the strength to do it all.  I
get to save up all the funny stories and interesting things that happen all day
to tell him when I see him at night.  I hate it when I have to work late and I
am not home when he gets home, but even in that there is joy, because it gives
me the chance to write him a note to leave for when he gets home.  We also get
to see the way that God is going before us and providing for us.  We can see
that in the amount of hours that Jared is working these couple of weeks.  He
knows what we need, and He will provide. 

So, in answer to the question "How is married life?", I think the most appropriate
response is that God is good, and we are blessed.  Marriage is sweet, but only
when God is in the center.  Some may think that I am naive and that it is too
early for me to be saying these things, and who knows--maybe it is.  I certainly
don't have all the answers, but I am eager to learn more of them every day.  I
am blessed beyond measure with a loving, caring, hard working husband, and with
a God who will never leave me nor forsake me. 
 
"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." 
-Proverbs 19:21

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all
your ways acknowldge Him and He will make your paths straight."  -Proverbs 3:5-6

"And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way,
walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left."
-Isaiah 30:21

In the years leading up to the long anticipated day of graduating from high school and finally heading off to
college, I went through numerous life plans.  Originally, I was headed for
physical therapy.  I was excited and thought it would be great.  Once I decided,
however, that I didn't want to go to PT school, I decided on athletic training
as the closest alternative, and was ready to jump in there.  After further
consideration, I realized that nursing would be more practical and give me more
options and job opportunities.  So nursing it was.  I applied very early on and
was accepted to the Clemson nursing program.  About a week before submitting my
USC application, I had what I called my "mid-life crisis."  I decided that I was
going to change my major I was applying for from nursing to something in a
non-science field.  I had begun to feel that God was really changing my mind and
heart about what I felt that I was gifted at, and that I had writing and
communication skills that I should not put to waste.  Not to mention the fact
that I was enjoying science and math less and less every year.  

So, I entered USC as a public relations major. A year before I didn't even know what public relations was.  Only a couple months after beginning college, at the Navigators fall conference, God began to
lay on my heart the calling to something else.  The problem was, I didn't know
what that something was.  All I knew was that God was completely changing my
life plans.  But strangely, I was ok with it.  On the car ride home from the
conference, I did a lot of thinking and praying.  Even though I had suddenly, in
one weekend, decided to completely change my career path to something that I did
not yet know what it would be, I had more peace about things than I ever had
before.  I was learning to put my complete trust in God's plan rather than my
own, and realized that he would continue to show me what I needed to know, when
I needed to know it.  I began to realize that there may be a reason that Psalm
119:105 is worded the way it is: "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my
path."  This verse does not say that God will illuminate the entirety of your
path.  It simply says that God's word is a lamp for your feet--this implies that
the majority of the path may remain shrouded in darkness, but that the place
where you need to walk will be illuminated.  Similarly, a line in the song "His
Love Can Never Fail" reads, "I may not know the way to go but oh I know my
Guide."  If we are diving deeper into our knowledge of God, that is what will
guide us in our lives and show us the paths to take.  

So, I came back to school knowing that I would change my major, but not yet knowing what I would change it to.  All I knew was that God had a bigger plan for my life than I had for myself, and I was ready to
walk in it.  Throughout that semester, I went through many different ideas of
how to get where I wanted to go, but I knew that ultimately, God was calling me
into ministry--specifically youth counseling.  

Along the way, however, God brought Jared, who is heading into pastoral ministries, into my life first as my boyfriend, and then as my fiance.  God continued to show me the opportunities that were before
me.  Finally, I realized that my time at USC was coming to a close, and that
what I needed was elsewhere.  So I began the application process to Columbia
International University, and, Lord willing, will be beginning there in the fall
to receive a Bible degree and be able to focus on youth
ministry.

I'll be honest--I did not see any of this coming.  If someone had told me that I would be married at the end of my first year of college, that I would be enrolling at a Christian college, and
that I would be preparing to be a pastor's wife, I would have either laughed, or
just quit right on the spot.  While I was never opposed to marrying young, I
wasn't expecting it to be this young.  I also never wanted to go to a Christian
college.  I had some legitimate and some not so legitimate reasons, but I always
saw myself being at a large, public university.  And, the most important, I was
NEVER going to be a pastor's wife.  I had decided it.  My mom always made
comments about me finding a boy who was going to seminary, but I fought it with
all I had.  That was not the life I wanted, because honestly, I was scared to
death to be under that much scrutiny.  So, I was determined to go to a large
university, planning to marry at a typical age, and to marry a doctor or a
lawyer or something that was not a pastor.  My goal was to live a normal life,
simply blending in with everyone else.

Well...today, I am preparing to be married 5 days after turning 19, I am transferring to a Christian school with
about 600 undergrad students, and I am marrying a man who is planning to become
a pastor.  And I have to say, I am so incredibly happy that my plans were not
God's plans.  I have finally begun to understand the attitude that I believe one
should have when making plans.  Living in a way that is completely dependent on
God, and always going back to His Word to give light to your path.  While the
plans I am walking in are not what I had planned, I have never felt such peace
as I do right now.  Sometimes I'm scared.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm right.  But
what I can rest in knowing that God is always right.  And his plans cannot be
thwarted.  So my job is to simply dedicate myself to my guide, and continue to
take one step at a time in the light that His Word casts on my path.  And I can
look back at everywhere that I have been and know that it was what brought me to
where I am today.  Even though I seemed to fly through numerous plans, never
seeming to settle anywhere, God had a plan He was bringing about through it all.
  I know that everything that happens, God works for my good (Romans 8:28).  So
even when you do not know where you're going, where God is taking you, or even
when it seems that your life plans are changing daily, you can rest in the
knowledge and assurance that there is a plan.  There is a divine method to God's
seeming madness in each of our lives.  And we can devote ourselves to knowing
our guide more and more every day, and through that, walking in the plans He has
for us.

In the wise words of Steve Carell in Dan in Real Life: "Instead of telling our young people to make plans, we should tell them to plan to be surprised."
 
"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also

rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces
perseverance;
perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does
not disappoint us,
because God has poured out his love into our hearts by
the Holy Spirit, whom he
has given us." -Romans 5:2-5

Most of us don't like to suffer.  I know I don't.  While this has been amplified by the
emergence of the American Dream, I believe that it is inherent in human nature. 
We wish to avoid suffering, and keep the ones we love from suffering.  A
"successful life" is often thought of as one in which a person has a lucrative
job, a nice house, a picture perfect family, and no sufferings of any kind.  We
want to get through our life unscathed, avoiding all possible harm. 

I believe, however, that at numerous points in the Bible, this ideology is
challenged.  In the verse mentioned above, Paul actually says that he rejoices
in his sufferings.  Looking at the life of Paul, there are obvious and painful
sufferings that he undergeos, the most obvious of these being thrown in prison
on numerous occasions.  He is questioned and punished, being ordered to cease
from preaching the gospel.  

These particular sufferings that Paul underwent are, I would think, unknown to those living in America. 
Thanks be to God that we do not (yet) have a government that has come to
throwing people in prison for the gospel.  But in reality, would it really be a
bad thing?  I pray that I nor any of my loved ones would ever have to undergo
this type of treatment, but the fact is, perhaps that should not be my prayer. 
This verse in Romans informs us that it is sufferings that produce perseverance,
which leads to character, which in turn, leads to hope.  Should I then, instead
of praying that God would keep me from suffering, pray that God would order my
life in a way that would produce perseverance, leading to character, and
ultimately leading to the hope that will not disappoint me?  I would venture to
say that Jesus is not concerned with us living a happy life.  No, Jesus wants us
to live a joyful life--but that joy is found in our hope in the glory of God,
not by our material successes on earth (2 Corinthians
4:18).

While I can't say this from experience, I firmly believe that the hardest time to ever believe this verse is
when it comes to your children.  From what I can imagine and what I have seen
and heard, no parent would ever wish suffering upon their children.  Their job
is to protect their children, putting their lives above their own.  That is an
admirable thing, and I cannot wait to experience the joys of parenting.  I
believe, however, that this verse cannot be suspended when it comes to
parenting.  As foreign and painful as it sounds, I believe that a parents job is
to pray that God would produce perseverence, character, and hope to grow in
their children, whatever the costs.  I realize that I am not speaking out of
experience, and perhaps if parents read this, they may dismiss me as speaking
about things that I don't know.  But I am trying to apply the meaning of this
verse to one of the most important and influential areas of life.  And I pray
that when I get to that point in life, God will give me the strength to live by
this.

I am not, however, only speaking about parenting.  This concept applies to everyone.  Our aim in helping each other as fellow Christians is to stand by their side, praying that God would produce
perseverance, character, and hope in them.  We rejoice with those who rejoice,
and mourn with those who mourn.  But ultimately, we give glory to God in all
situations.  And when we see our fellow Christians walking through struggles,
rather than comparing ourselves to them, being thankfully that we are not in
that situation, passing judgment on them, or even just feeling sorry for them,
we should instead see it as an opportunity for God's glory to shine through.  As
is seen in John 9, in the healing of the man born blind, when Jesus' disciples
asked him whether the man's blindness resulted from his sin or his parents,
Jesus replied, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so
that the work of God might be displayed in his life" (v. 3).  Our life is a
stage in which to put God's glory on display.  This will look different in
different people's lives.  But the end result is always the same--if our lives
show God's glory, show his ultimate provision and care, and shout out that He is
our creator and Lord, then our lives are counted a
success.

As Jared and I begin to step out into the future into a somewhat unsure situation, we can rest in this verse.  Not to say that we are not planning, or that we are throwing all logic and thinking out the window,
but we realize that "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes
his steps" (Proverbs 16:9).  So it is not so much that we are making plans, but
we are seeking God's plan. For "Unless the LORD builds the house, those who
build it labor in vain" (Psalm 127:1).  The question is not "will we succeed" or
"will we fail".  For what is success or failure?  The question is, is God
working in us perseverence, character, and hope?  Will our life ultimately give
all the glory to God, not ourselves?  These are the marks of a successful life. 
Our success does not come from the amount of money we have, the size of our
house, or the prestige of our job.  Our success comes when our lives are a
reflection of the glory of our great God.
 
Throughout the time that Jared and I dated, we were both pretty open and clear
about the fact that we were not just dating for fun--this was purposeful dating,
and the purpose was, hopefully, if it was God's will, eventual marriage.  We
assumed, however, that this would take place after we graduated, as that seems
to be the expected timing of relationships in the US.  At the beginning of
Christmas break, however, through a lot of different things bringing it to our
attention, we both started considering the possibility of marrying while still
in college.  This was during the first week of Christmas break, and I was home
in Clemson while he was home in Clover.  We had several phone and skype
conversations discussing different possibilities, and we both took that week to
really think and pray through the possibility individually.  During this week of
prayer, I felt that God placed on my mind and heart that Jared and I would be
getting married this summer.  Wait...what?!  This summer?  That's in like, 6
months!  I was sure I was crazy.  At this point. Jared was only thinking about
maybe the next summer (summer of 2013), and even with that he was still
hesitant.  I tend to be a bit unrealistic at times, but thankfully I have fiance
who is very practical and can see situations very clearly and rationally.  So
when this thought crossed my mind, I began praying through it, wondering if it
was me trying to push for this, or if it was really God giving me this idea and
desire.  So after spending some time in prayer over it, I decided to simply
surrender it to God, trusting that His will would be done.  I said, "God, I am
not going to say anything about this to Jared.  If this is your will for our
lives, then please let him come to me and tell me that he wants to get married
this summer."  I knew, however, that he wouldn't do this.  An idea like that
would usually only come from my crazy head (unless, however, God was involved). 
So, I laid it to rest. 

The next week, Jared
came to visit me.  We spent that week talking through possibilities, and talking
to my parents.  One night, as we were talking, Jared looked at me, and to my
disbelief, these words came out of his mouth, "So, why don't we get married this
summer?"  ... What?  Did he really say that?  I was astounded to say the least. 
So we began to talk about this possibility, and the many opportunities that
would go along with that.

Then ensued an
extremely hard yet fruitful rest of the break, which mostly consisted of prayer.
  We sought the cousel of many different people, looking for different
perspectives on the subject, seeking marriage advice, but ultimately being true
to the calling that God had placed on our lives.  It was a long and hard
process.  But through extended times of prayer and time spent in the Word, Jared
and I both individually received an enourmous amount of peace and assurance
concerning our upcoming marriage, despite every difficulty we know will
accompany it.  We see that God is working in us, and that He is calling us. 
When God calls, we must listen.  And that is what we have tried to do.  We are
keeping our ears open to God's call, and our eyes open to His work.  We trust
that he is our perfect guide--we may not know the way to go, but we know our
guide.  And He will never leave us nor forsake us.  Because of that, we can walk
in obedience, trusting Him to be our guide. 


So on January 2nd, during the last week before
returning to school, came the moment of truth.  I was at the Poulton's house in
Clover, and Jared and I were sitting at the kitchen table talking.  Before I
knew it, Jared had gotten up, gone to the closet, and pulled out a towel and
basin.  He filled the basin with water, grabbed some soap, and took me into the
living room.  I sat on the couch, and he proceeded to get down on the floor, and
to wash my feet.  I sat there astounded, not really believing it was real.  When
he had finished, he stood me up, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry
him.  And, go figure, I said yes!  I am so blessed to have a man who is willing
to humble himself, and to serve me, doing his best to love me the way that
Christ loves His church.  Not only have I learned countless things through our
relationship about marriage (which I will most likely share in a later post),
but I also have learned so much about God's love for us.  The way that God
intensely desires to be with us.  The way that He was willing to humble Himself
in order to serve us.  And the way that everything He does, He does for our best
interest.  He will never lead us astray.  And we can rest in that.
 
Once upon a time there was a young girl, crippled with insecurity that had built
up over years and years, desperately in need of the true healing and grace found
only in a complete and utter dependence on Christ Jesus as Savior and Lord. She
lived a fairly "good" life as a kid and an early teen.  She went to youth group
every week, helped to lead Bible studies and prayer group, and sincerely did
love God and want to follow Him.  She eventually decided, however, that she
thought that she could do a better job of planning her life and filling her need
for God's love than God could.  So she tried to take control.  She chased after
the world and what it had to offer, and desperately longed after what she saw
before her.  To her dissappointment, however, she began to realize that the more
of the world she got, the more empty and void her life and her soul was.  So
eventually, with many tears, heartaches, and emotional scars, she was drawn back
into the scarred arms of her Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, where he whispered to
her "My child, I love you.  Your sins are forgiven.  I will never leave you nor
forsake you.  I take great delight in you. I will rejoice over you with
singing." 

As you may have guessed, that young
girl was me.  I am a living picture of the grace of God, and I thank Him daily
for giving me the life that he has, and giving it to me abundantly.  Despite
every way that I attempted to fill myself with things that were not God, and no
matter how much I attempted to worship the creature rather than the Creator, God
had a divine plan through it all, and He has brought it to pass perfectly. 
Today, I cling ever more tightly to the grace that God has held out to me--with
a very clear view of my sin, but an even clearer view of my Savior.  I was able
to find healing for every single scar left on my heart in Christ Jesus, and am,
by the grace of God, running the race set before me.

So.
That is my story.  Really it is only part of it.  But that is a glimpse into a
small segment of my testimony that I felt would give a good framwork for telling
my current story.  You can't really understand where a person's going unless you
know where they've been.  So there it is.  That is an honest view of what my
heart battled through, and the way that God showed himself faithful to His
precious daughter.  It is painful to remember those times, but I wanted to share
it in the hope that maybe it will touch someone. Maybe someone can relate to my
story, and hearing about the grace that God has poured out upon me can encourage
you and help you to see the power of healing and restoration found in the
gospel.  That is my prayer and my reason for sharing these
thoughts.

So now you're probably wondering when
Jared will come into this story. Well, he is coming.  Near the end of the summer
and after coming to school at USC, God began to release me from many of the
insecurities that I had battled, and began to show me how to grasp the freedom
offered in the gospel.  I realized that God had a perfect plan for my life that
was just for me--I didn't need to be anyone but myself.  So I began to delve
deeper and deeper into the person and work of Jesus Christ, wanting to
understand more fully the gift of grace and life that I had received, and how to
rest in my identity found in Christ Jesus. 

Right around
this time, I happened to run into a very nice, godly, polite, funny, not to
mention super cute guy named Jared.  I don't want to dwell too much on the
details of when we first met--to make a long story short, we hit it off very
quickly.  Over the first few days after meeting, we ran into each other pretty
much every where we met, and both realized pretty quickly that we really enjoyed
spending time together.  We started to hang out on campus between
classes--grabbing lunch or some coffee, and having conversations about church
history, theology, and worship styles, to name a few. 

It became evident
that we were both quite interested in each other, and we actually had our first
conversation about dating ten days after meeting.  This was not, however, God's
timing, and for many reason--both valid and not so valid--we decided to wait. 
This was an extremely hard decision to make, but it was, however, a time of
immense growth for both of us.  During this time, God helped me to get to a
point where I could look at the situation and know that if I wasn't supposed to
be with Jared, then I would be just fine.  I got to a point of complete trust in
God's plan, whatever that was.  And I had to give up control, which was one of
the hardest and most painful things I could have had to do.  I realized that my
job was not to make things work out.  From the very beginning, I had a definie
peace and sense from God that this was going to work out--I felt that God really
did communicate to me that I was going to be with Jared.  The ultimate test,
however, was to see whether I trusted Him enough to give Jared up--trusting God
to give him back to me if it was His will.  So, I did.  It hurt.  It was hard. 
But I decided that I would never talk to Jared about us dating again unless he
brought it up.  I would be his friend, but I wouldn't try to make anything
happen--I wouldn't try to read into everything he said.  I would take our
friendship for what it was and be content with
that.

It's funny the way God works.  He
certainly has a sense of humor and a knack for irony.  Shortly after coming to
this decision, we went on fall break.  I decided while going home that I was not
going to talk to Jared during the 4 day break unless he contacted me.  I was
ready to stick to this decision even if it killed me.  Well...guess who
contacted me every day during break? 

I don't
want to tell his whole side of the story without him here, but suffice it to say
that Jared spent a lot of the break having people asking him why in the world we
weren't dating and telling him that we were perfect for eachother.  He had a lot
of things he had been working through, and God was preparing him for some
possible transitions, so he was able to really think and pray through those over
break.  And evidently, God was re-planting the seed about us back in his brain. 


Sunday afternoon when I got home, I was at my sister's,
sitting there holding my phone, and really wanting to text him to see if he was
back yet.  But I stuck to my previous decision to not contact him over the
break, and as school had not yet started, I thought that it still applied.  No
sooner had I had this thought, I get a text from Jared, asking if I was back
yet.  Yet again...yay irony.  So, long story short, we ended up going to
Starbucks to grab some coffee, and somehow, by the end of the conversation, we
were dating. 

And thus is began.  Then ensued
a wonderful two months of dating, full of joy and laughter, pain and tears.  It
has by no means been as easy road. But God has been faithful, and has blessed
our relationship more than we could have imagined.  We have learned more in the
last two months than I ever knew anyone could.  God is faithful, and He will
never leave us nor forsake us.  What a glorious truth.  And I am so blessed to
have someone who constantly points me towards Christ--reminds me where to find
my true identity, where to find true healing and security. I thank God daily for
giving me a man with such a love for me but an even greater love for his Savior.
  I am incredibly blessed.